There is currently an Indiegogo campaign created by AR Wear for a line that they call Anti-Rape Clothing. These garments, which include a pair of boy-cut brief-style panties, running shorts, leggings and “travelling shorts,” are allegedly designed and built to be unremovable except by the owner, who has some sort of key to release the locking mechanism on the waistband. Basically they act as a chastity belt, although of course we are not supposed to think of them as chastity belts. AR Wear wants us to believe that this is some sort of modern innovation, and not just a contemporary twist on an outdated garment meant to oppress and subjugate women. In fact, AR Wear wants us to believe that the opposite is true – that their anti-rape wear will actually empower women and offer them some sort of freedom that they might have been lacking.
Let’s get a few things straight:
Perpetuating the myth that rape is preventable or avoidable by anyone other than the rapist is not empowering.
Giving society one more reason to blame rape victims for their rape is not empowering.
Continuing to embrace the idea that rape has something to do with what kind of clothing you are wearing (or not wearing) is not empowering.
Nothing about this product is empowering, except maybe for rapists.
There is already a long list of things that women shouldn’t do if they don’t want to be raped – they shouldn’t wear revealing clothing, shouldn’t go out at night alone, shouldn’t drink, shouldn’t talk to strangers, shouldn’t trust men, any men, not even men they know. Really, the end game of all rape prevention advice is that women should stay at home, alone, in a locked house, but even that scheme isn’t 100% foolproof. There is no actual way for a woman to prevent being raped.
And yes, I’ve heard all the rhetoric about mitigating risks and being more careful, most of which boils down to telling women not to do one or all of the things listed above. One analogy that people often use is the seatbelt metaphor – that you wouldn’t drive without wearing a seatbelt, even if you are a good driver. The idea is that we all make choices every day to make our lives safer, and telling women not to indulge in risky behaviour like wearing a cute dress or going for a run alone is no different than telling someone to put on their seatbelt when they get in their car.
Except that car accidents are accidents. People don’t rear-end you on purpose. You don’t drive into a fence on purpose. You don’t skid off the road on purpose. These are things that happen by accident. Rape is not in any way comparable to a car crash. Rape is a violent crime committed by a rapist. Rape is done with the intention to rape.
I feel like I shouldn’t even have to say this, but I’ll say it anyway:
Rape is not an accident that happens to you because you didn’t take enough precautions or because you weren’t paying close enough attention. Rape is a deliberate choice for violence and harm made by another person.
AR Wear’s Anti-Rape clothing does little more than offer society one more reason to blame rape victims for their rape. It gives people the chance to say, “Well, if only she’d been wearing those special panties, this wouldn’t have happened.” This falls in line with the same old victim-blaming mentality of, “If only she’d been dressed differently, if only she hadn’t been drinking, if only she’d screamed or kicked or fought harder.” It’s all part of the same culture that still puts the responsibility on women not to be raped. It’s the same culture that says, “Of course rape is wrong, and of course what he did was terrible, but.”
There should never, ever be a but.
It also bears mentioning that idea behind this clothing operates off the assumption that most rapists are strangers, who attack women in dark alleys late at night, when actually the opposite is true – most rapists are acquaintances with, or even romantic partners of, the victim. So what would happen if a woman did have AR Wear’s Anti-Rape clothing on, removed said clothing of her own volition, and then was raped? It would be so unbelievably easy for a judge to rule that it couldn’t possibly have been rape, because the victim chose to take off her own protective clothing.
And what happens if a would-be rapist becomes frustrated trying to remove the Anti-Rape panties? Doesn’t it seem likely that rather than stopping a rapist cold, it might incite them to other forms of violence?
This clothing does not make women less vulnerable to the threat of rape. Not really. It just seeks to make a profit off of a deep and very legitimate fear that almost every woman has. And the reality of the situation is that this product does not, as the Indiegogo campaign claims, give women “more power to control the outcome of a sexual assault.” It is unbelievably damaging and ignorant to say that victims of sexual assault could have had more power to control the outcome of what happened to them. This is victim-blaming, pure and simple.
The only person who has the power to control the outcome of rape is the rapist.
The only person who can prevent rape is the rapist.
The only person responsible for rape is the rapist.
I don’t know how many more times this has to be said until it is properly understood.
AR Wear’s Anti-Rape Clothing
The Belle Jar 
So much closed-mindedness in here, wow.
Sure, it’s not going to stop rapes 100%, but if it stops but one, is it not worth doing? The arguments that ‘a rapist can still rape or harm you if you’re wearing these’ is true, in the same manner that someone trying to shoot you can still attempt to harm you if you’re unarmed and wearing a kevlar vest. And yet, there are those that will wear them if they feel the need – certainly police, whether armed or not tend to wear them; you know, because they’d rather have a chance of not dying.
Even if it all it does is delay the attacker an amount of time whilst the victim undoes them – that’s 2, 5, 10 minutes more for help to appear.
There’s also no ‘key’ – the unlocking mechanism is akin to clock hands, so only you can unlock it.
The simple fact is that as awful as it is, as bad as it is, and as much as it should not be – this is a part of our society. I think rape is terrible, and I don’t believe it is the victim’s fault. However, why is that if I were to walk down a dark alley in a ‘ghetto’ full of African-Americans wearing a t-shirt that stated ‘I hate n*****s’ or a pointy white hat/mask, I would most certainly be seen as ‘provoking’ any attack that would become me. But a female, who goes out wearing what one might classify as ‘slutty,’ specifically attention-grabbing clothes could never possibly have been provoking anything?
Perhaps if we started thinking progressively, we could actually do something to change this horrible act. Perhaps if we didn’t vilify men, those who were sick might seek mental help as a way to cope, rather than feeling as if they have to act out – physically or sexually or otherwise. Perhaps those who found themselves attracted to children could seek mental help before anything happened.
Perhaps if courts were perhaps more even-sided in rape cases – perhaps if they didn’t let famous people get off with lighter (or no) sentencing that their anonymous counterparts would get many years in jail for.
And perhaps if we examined the laws surrounding drunken consent, it might lead to a better outcome. When someone (male or female) can get as drunk as they want, have sex with as many people as they want, and then when they’re sober and realise the shame of what they’ve done, cry rape and have people prosecuted for crimes they didn’t commit.
When a girl can encourage a man to excite her orally, and almost force him to do so, then press charges when she becomes embarrased when it leaks online, surely there are issues? If a man did the same thing, HE would be seen as the rapist.
When most sex that’s not sober, on a bed between two adults who are in a relationship, in love, trusting and the word ‘keep going’ is echoed and recorded every 5 minutes, could be seen as rape, don’t we have issues in our society?
Of course the only person responsible for rape is the rapist, but just as I can reduce my chances of being punched in the face if I don’t yell ‘hey you’re a dickhead’ at some souped guy, I can also reduce my chances of being raped by covering my drink, or wearing slightly longer skirts, or wearing a top.
Clearly you have neither read, nor understood, anything this blog post had to say.
Wearing what I want doesn’t entitle ANYONE to commit a crime against me. Go back to the 50’s.
It actually hurts how ignorant you are, and then you insist it’s actually others who are ignorant. You’re engaging in exactly what the author accurately describes as victim blaming. You actually did exactly what they referred to in the article when you said, “rape is horrible, however…” (Forgive me, I paraphrase). You are a moronic fuck, and people like you are the reason less than 10% of women ever report being sexually assaulted. You are the reason I never reported being sexually assaulted. You scare women into a corner, where they’ve already been hurt in one of the worst ways imaginable, but to come out and ask for help would only incite more attacks. Because of people as idiotic, and afraid, as you. As long as it is somehow her fault, it could never happen to you or someone you love, right? As long as it is her fault, no one you know could commit rape. It’s all that one woman’s fault, and since you don’t know her, none of this can touch you. And of course that statistic about how many women don’t come forward is skewed, because the ones who do are lying? Because they really wanted it, they were just embarassed? They made a bad decision, and decided they feel better about trying to send someone to jail for rape (which is incredibly difficult in our legal system, check the case law, or ask a prosecutor how many rape cases result in conviction, especially when there is the slightest chance you could blame it on the victim. Steubenville. They stripped and raped her, filmed it and distributed the proof. One is in jail for a year, the other for two) than owning up to their mistakes. Makes it easier to sleep at night, the world seems a little less violent (for you at least, still terrifying to women), though it requires you have no conscience. You, are the problem in our society. Please consider never speaking again. It would benefit us all.
Rapist force you to have sex against your will, right? What is to stop the rapist from forcing you to open your AR wear? The key will most likely be somewhere accessible unless these outfits come with catheters.
Wow! Just when I think a person couldn’t possibly be more ignorant, offensive and seriously sick in the head I am once again proven wrong. Firstly, just for breathing you should be punched in the face. Not only are you blaming grown rape victims but also children of sexual abuse.. So by not being so judgmental and more understanding as a society we can encourage vile scumbag rapists/nonces like you to get help? Go and die you vile, worthless creep!! I personally think that the best deterrent to rape and abuse are public castrations.
Honestly, I have to say that I disagree with the article. Even as a feminist. I don’t actually believe there’s many valid points in it and I wonder if the author actually read the Indigogo campaign page for the product instead of just watching the video.
The indigogo campaign by Ar Wear admits that this will not solve the problem. It says it right there on the campaign page that it’s just something they hope will help while our society works on fixing the problem.
Rape is about as wrong as it gets. The only one responsible for a rape is the rapist and AR Wear will not solve the fundamental problem that rape exists in our world. Only by raising awareness and education, as well as bringing rapists to justice, can we all hope to eventually accomplish the goal of eliminating rape as a threat to both women and men. Meanwhile, as long as sexual predators continue to populate our world, AR Wear would like to provide products to women and girls that will offer better protection against some attempted rapes while the work of changing society’s rape culture moves forward.
[…] We believe that the tools of self-defense currently available are not effective in many common settings of sexual assault. Training in martial arts or products such as pepper spray, tear gas, stun guns, etc. can only help if the potential victim is extremely alert and bold when an attack occurs. Worse still, products of self-defense can be taken from the victim and used against her.
We read studies reviewing the statistics of resisting assault, whether by forceful or non-forceful means. We learned that resistance increases the chance of avoiding a completed rape without making the victim more likely to be physically injured. We concluded that an item of clothing that creates an effective barrier layer can allow women and girls to passively resist an attacker, in addition to any other form of resistance they may be able to carry out at the time of an assault.
The product doesn’t aim at preventing or getting rid of or solving rape and fully admits that there is only one way to do that.
Instead, it aims at providing more security to women in certain circumstances where they are likely to be targeted as the victim of sexual assault in the form of rape (such as night time running or exercise, traveling abroad in countries known for high amounts of kidnapping for sex trafficking, clubbing, etc- all things we admit are circumstances that may put us at risk, but which society tells us not to do and will use to blame us for any assault on our bodies) in order not to protect them, but to help give them better chances of removing themselves from the situation and resisting in a manner that doesn’t put their life in jeopardy.
I’d say there’s a difference. If I have any actual problem with the product and the campaign, it’s that these products and the campaign don’t take into account that most rapes are committed by people the victim knows- not the complete strangers you’re likely to encounter during the situations these products are targeting.
I’m so glad someone in these comments has actually READ the page… I saw the link to AR Wear through a friends FB link, and wasn’t too sure about the idea. After reading their page, it confirmed that they weren’t just ‘solving’ rape with their high tech product, but that they were passionate about at least giving women and girls a fighting chance.
As per the previous comment above, the page very clearly dispells almost half of this articles arguments and therefore almost invalidates it imho. One thing was very correct though, rape is entirely down to the rapist. I am a man, and as such I very rarely, if ever, worry about being raped or sexually assaulted at all. If nothing else, this line of products may give some women that same feeling of safety, and less worry. I think that’s worth it, hands down.
We will never solve the problem of rape entirely, it will always exist. All we can do is work on bringing the rapists and attempted rapists to justice and try our best to empower women in any way we can, and more importantly help them empower themselves, just like we help children who are being bullied, men and women who are victims of domestic violence etc.
Let’s be a little honest but crass here… If a woman was being beaten by her husband, for example, would you deny her a bottle of pepper spray to defend herself? Even if she never had to use it, even if she just felt better for it, would that be something you had something against? Yes, the husband would be in the wrong, and yes, there are other courses of action which may be better for her. But, if that helps her to FEEL safer, to know she has at least some defence in place, would that be so wrong? I doubt you’d stop her using the entire bottle on his violent eyes.
Overall I feel this article promotes another view, the view of “There’s nothing we can do so lets do nothing”, which is disappointing for such an articulate and obviously intelligent feminist. We have car alarms to shop theft, we have panic alarms for staff at work places, we even have rape alarms. This might not solve the problem, but it was never claimed it would. It might, just might, help women feel safer, and more able to defend themselves. Is that not worth it?
Thank you, Das ❤ I have found that most people on blogs just want to be negative and rant for the sake of ranting, without keeping in context of the subject. It's refreshing to see someone with common sense.
PS I am a man (Apparently that makes me an automatic bad-guy to most people on here.) that was raped when I was a boy by a woman and again as a young man by a man. Both genders assaulted me. Now that that's out of the way… I wish I had been wearing these during those times, even if I had been beaten worse because of it. So I say Thank you to the inventor of these for trying to help in the way that he/she could.
I find it interesting that you are thanking the maker of this product, even though they are playing into the old myth that females are the rape victims and males are the rapists. I would have more respect for them if they acknowledged that male victims are a reality and may need protection too.
What kind of bs is this? If you know people who say these things you need new friends…
“This falls in line with the same old victim-blaming mentality of, “If only she’d been dressed differently, if only she hadn’t been drinking, if only she’d screamed or kicked or fought harder.” It’s all part of the same culture that still puts the responsibility on women not to be raped. It’s the same culture that says, “Of course rape is wrong, and of course what he did was terrible, but”
I don’t see how this product is considered victim blaming… I don’t think the product would be very effective, and it probably is a money grab, but I don’t exactly see how it is being considered offensive.
It’s merely an optional security device… It’s no different than wearing a bullet proof vest. I’ve never seen any police officers claim they are being victim blamed for criminals who shoot at them. “I shouldn’t have to bear the responsibility of wearing a vest because it’s the bad guy’s responsibility to not shoot me” I don’t see logic in this… Bad people are bad people regardless of how you feel about it.
I could potentially see this product being used in other parts of the world. There are many war torn and impoverished countries where people truly are not safe, where rape and sexual assault are quite casual, and law enforcement is unable or unwilling to keep the community safe.
Random Person –
Your argument makes no sense – nobody blames the cop when a cop gets shot. It doesn’t matter whether the cop was wearing a vest or not, everyone blames the shooter, not the cop.
Which is how we should respond to rape. The fact that we don’t is why we are having this discussion in the first place.
– Chris
Chris,
Random Person is arguing that, similar to how nobody blames a cop for getting shot, nobody is blaming women for getting raped.
However, cops still wear vests/protective clothing sometimes to reduce the chance of dying when hit by a bullet.
In the same way, if women wish to reduce the chance of getting raped, they could wear protective clothing to reduce the risk. However, nobody is blaming them if they choose not to.
As well, Random Person argues that there will always be bad people – and you can’t stop them just by telling them not to.
There are serial killers out there that know it’s not okay to kill, but they choose to anyway. In the same way, there are rapists out there that know it’s not okay to rape, but choose to anyway.
– Jon
>>I’ve never seen any police officers claim they are being victim blamed for criminals who shoot at them.
>>Your argument makes no sense – nobody blames the cop when a cop gets shot. It doesn’t matter whether the cop was wearing a vest or not, everyone blames the shooter, not the cop.
Isn’t Random Person saying the same thing you are, Chris?
>>Which is how we should respond to rape. The fact that we don’t is why we are having this discussion in the first place.
Agreed, so how does fancy underwear change things? Anti-rape underwear seems kind of crazy, but what if we were talking about carrying pepper spray, or a whistle? Are these common self-defense measures tantamount to accepting responsibility for being raped? They might make a difference, they might not, but the responsibility for the crime always goes to the criminal. If some people think differently, and that’s why we’re having the discussion, THAT’S the discussion we should be having.
I’m thinking that, sometimes, the would-be victim gets away, and that’s a good thing. If they don’t, it’s not their fault, but if they do, it’s good.
As far as the chastity belt analogy goes, if the woman is the one has the key, the power, that’s a huge difference. That’s not subjugation… but it sure sounds uncomfortable.
Jon: “nobody is blaming women for getting raped.”
Seriously? That’s the norm! The public does it when stories are reported in the media, the media does it regularly, judges and police have been known to do it, families have done it to their own family members, etc.
Usually it’s not as blatant as, “It’s all your fault.” It’s expressed by focusing on the victim’s behaviour and completely erasing the perpetrator from the picture. Or, as was the case in Steubenville, bemoaning the ruined futures of those poor, poor rapists.
All of that is victim-blaming and rape apologia. We don’t need yet another excuse for people to question why a rape victim “didn’t take precautions.”
Also, cops don’t wear bullet proof vests all the time. They wear them when they’re going into dangerous situations where they will most likely be shot at. If I was going into a room full of rapists I would probably wear these underclothes, but not in my everyday life.
To just a random person, you clearly did not read the article and understand the concepts outlined in said article.To add one more thing, as a sexual assault counsellor, I know that this underwear is does more damage than good. Many women and men I might add (also sexually assaulted by males identifying as straight!) are orally assaulted. The majority of sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone you know and trust – boyfriends, husbands, relatives, friends, police, lawyers, judges, priests, teachers, doctors, dentists, optometrists and so on. Please actually read the article and pay some attention to the overwhelming evidence of sexual violence against women and children not to mention the neverending victim blaming!
Here’s where I see this product being effective. A girl wearing these pass out at a frat party. bunch of drunk douchebag bros think they can have some fun and trying take off her pants. they dont come off. they are drunk and dont really care that much and dont bother. Forgetting about all the implications of the product, can anyone out there deny that in a few situations they might actually prevent a rape from occurring? Isn’t that better than the alternative?
yeah this seems like it may (MAY) be effective at putting off the “casual rapist” (sorry for the terrible-sounding terminology but idk what else to call it) who didn’t start out with the intention to rape but will try to do so if the opportunity arises – ie drunk/passed out girls – and willquicklyget bored and think of something else to do if they can’t. it won’t stop the determined or violent rapist though- ie if said frat party was in fact a trap for one girl they intended to get revenge on ala steubenville, they’d just wake her up and threaten her into taking them off or assault her in another way ie oral rape or ejaculating over her instead.
mind you, i don’t really know what would happen if the aforementioned casual rapist found out the girl was wearing this chastity belt. i suspect he might get angry and become violent.
Sorry, but what about teaching the drunk douchebags that rape is wrong… if they do it once they’ll likely do it again. And when they aren’t successful, in my opinion, it’s likely they’ll move on to another passed out chick or become more violent NOT pass out themselves. I cannot seem to fathom a situation where I feel like a girl should have to “protect” herself in this manner. Additionally, I REFUSE to walk around feeling afraid that I’m going to be raped. Something like this will heighten my not lighten it.
That would actually be where the product is most INeffective. There’s only 132 possible combinations to unlock them – they will be removed from an unconscious person in a minute or two.
Imagine if bank cards only had 2 digit PINs and you had unlimited attempts at the ATM. Do you think a thief would give up or simply try every number from 00-99?
Someone attempting to rape you is stilla traumatic event. Yes, you might not end up with an STI, or pregnant as a result of wearing these pants, but you could still have a strong psychological response. Then people would use “but they didn’t even rape you” to dismiss a real psychological trauma. Also, in the situation you described, even if the girl wasn’t wearing the pants its most likely she would still be blamed and that the rapists wouldn’t be prosecuted anyway. This all adds to the continuation of rape culture, we need to reframe how we view rape because this repeated focus on prevention by women is dis empowering and hurtful. Half the reason rape is so traumatically bad is the cultural response to victims, making it a thousand times harder to do the necessary emotional and physical healing. We should be lifting up and empowering victims, not telling them they didn’t do enough.
Actually you’re slightly of the mark that the only one that can prevent rape is the rapist. There’s lots of ways a woman can reduce the chance to be a victim of a rape, number one is go out with more than two people (you included), not alone. And no, I’m not victim blaming, just saying there is simple measures that won’t kill your fun and you’re much less likely to become a rape victim.
Unless your suggestion is that women must have two female chaperones at ALL times, it is a completely ridiculous one because, as previously discussed, most rape does not happen on the street. You are buying into the idea that rape is caused by women being out and about alone.
Most rapists know their victims; it is done by people who you are supposed to be able to trust. So without female chaperones in the marital bed I’m not sure how you plan to have that help with rape.
And sometimes, women rape women. Your chaperones may make the choice to become violent with you. So, as the article correctly concluded, THERE IS NO WAY FOR A VICTIM TO PREVENT RAPE.
Llovell,
You wrote that there is no way for a victim to prevent rape. As a rape survivor, I strongly disagree with that statement. I think we should empower women to feel strong and capable of self-defense. Now, I am not in any kind of way saying we should blame the victim or force the victims to take all responsibility for preventing rape, because that’s obviously ridiculous. What I am saying is that some women out there choose to learn self-defense, carry mace and possible even buy this product. Would you stand in their way because you disagree? Or would you tell them they are wasting their time trying to defend themselves because they are just completely incapable of ever warding off a potential attack? Come on now. We have focused so much on avoiding victim blaming that we have swung to the opposite extreme and are not preventing women from protecting themselves. Or worse, we are judge women who do protect themselves and want to buy this product as “victim blamers” or “rape apologists.” That’s just not the case. Let women choose to defend themselves if they so choose. It’s not up to you to decide for me what I can and can’t wear and what I can and cant’ do.
What you’re saying is that there’s 100 percent foolproof way to prevent all rape. That’s not the same thing as saying that rape can’t ever be prevented.
So you’re suggesting we curtail our freedoms to avoid being raped.
I know you’re not talking to me, but I’m going to answer for myself.
I’m suggesting that you have the freedom to choose whatever action you like to manage the risk of being the victim of a crime, or no action at all.
I suspect that “curtailing your freedoms to avoid being raped” is something that women choose to do all the time. Maybe the fancy underwear will give someone the confidence to freely walk the streets after dark.
I think that what’s being suggested by the blogger is that you curtail your freedom (to choose to manage risk) in order to avoid being blamed for being the victim of a crime, I don’t agree, and, based solely on what I read here, I don’t agree with the idea that by providing, at least in theory, an option for risk management (I’m not going to argue for or against the efficacy of anti-rape underwear) , the manufacturers are promoting a blame-the-victim mentality, and I wonder if we would anyone would make this accusation against the manufacturers of more accepted forms of risk management such as pepper spray or a whistle.
Felix Ray, yes women do voluntarily curtail their activities at times to avoid potentially dangerous situations. Yapper claimed that traveling in pairs will reduce the chance of being raped. (A) There is nothing to support that conclusion. (B) It sounds very much like a pre-emptive victim-blaming lecture to me.
I’ve never heard of a company promoting whistles and pepper spray specifically as rape-prevention tools and that’s the difference with AR Wear. They’re making dubious claims without considering what a determined predator might do upon encountering these.
I have visions of an attacker threatening to beat a woman unless she unlocks the underwear and because she’s terrified, she’s unable to remember the code.
It also sounds like something out of The Handmaid’s Tale. If I recall correctly, the women in that book had to always be in pairs to ensure their “safety.”
totally disagree with the writer of this article. While it is true that rape victims should not be blamed for a rape that happened to them, it is equally wrong to tell a woman she has no control over preventing a rape from happening. Umm we all lock our doors at night to prevent robbers and murderers from entering our homes, some of us might even have a gun to greet them with. Does that completely stop a criminal from breaking and entering? No, but locks and guns are certainly empowering from preventing you from possibly becoming their victim! I say ant-rape clothing is an awesome and empowering invention! It is not the victims fault if they are raped, but to sit there and say a woman doing something about it takes responsibility away from the rapists actions is completely ignoramus!!
Another rape rant. Yes, rape is horrible. It is ABSOLUTELY detestable. But you turned your chance at what could of been an intellectual review of a product and instead fired hate at it because of your hate for rape. That’s like being mad at door locks because I’m mad that people break in and door locks don’t always stop break-ins.
“The only person who has the power to control the outcome of rape is the rapist.
The only person who can prevent rape is the rapist.
The only person responsible for rape is the rapist.”
So I have no control at all. I am helpless. Ya, that’s a good message to teach young girls.
You are a narrow-minded idiot that does nothing except do harm to the cause of destroying the rape-culture, by attacking something like this, in this manner. Everything you said is true, but this product isn’t doing any of the things you are saying it does.
It is a product that may help a woman from having to endure intercourse from a rapist. It may work. It may not. It doesn’t in any way put blame on her. It’s just a tool to help keep her a little safer from evil people. Nothing more. Reading more into it just makes you look like a narrow-minded fanatic that can no longer be logical in your way of thinking.
I am a healthy, well-built male, that at times carries a stun gun, to keep me safe from criminals that will assault and harm me to get something they want. The manufacturers and designers of the stun gun are not implying that I am at fault for being mugged. Some people may say that I shouldn’t have been wherever I was at because it wasn’t a safe place to be. The makers of the stun gun or these panties is not saying this though. They are just tools for trying to help us be a little safer.
I can guarantee that if you were being attacked, you would wish you were wearing a pair and/or had a stun gun. It’s that simple.
You need to learn where to direct your fight. It’s a good cause you are fighting for. Just direct it where it is deserved to be directed.
I don’t know, I would have liked to have these when I was being sexually assaulted and my underwear was forcibly removed.
Reblogged this on Psychobabble and commented:
This post was so well written and on target that I couldn’t not reblog it. And guess what – you can’t not read it and find it profoundly poignant and sad that something like this still has to be written in 2013.
There are many good points being made here, both by the author of the post and by commenters. Yes, rape is never the victim’s fault. Yes, with and without AR Wear clothing some people will, unfortunately, continue be raped. It will always be the rapists fault. Yes, to prevent future rapes we need vast cultural change.
However, that does not mean that AR Wear is useless. Consider someone who has previously been raped, is suffering from PTSD, and suffers massive anxiety attacks when in a bar, out at night, with men, etc. This product could help that person feel more in control and regain some of their pre-attack life.
This product will not prevent all rapes, and the inventors of the product are not arguing that it will. But it may prevent some, and how is that not a worthy cause?
As a rape victim, I can tell you right now these panties are bullshit and those defending them are ignorant. This isn’t like wearing a bullet-proof vest. This is forcing me to take responsibility for someone wanting to commit a crime of violence against me and skewing blame away from the rapist. I shouldn’t have to wear vagina armor in order to stop men from raping me. Are you going to encourage me to wear a gag too so they don’t orally rape me? Instead you should be teaching those that rape what constitutes rape. Twenty percent of college aged men admitted to doing something that constitutes rape but 80% of them were adamant that what they did was not rape. That is a problem because then those people turn around and defend people that knowingly raped and the rapists then feel vindicated. If you don’t think the courts would then start using these things as excuses to acquit rapists, then you are naive. They already say “well she drank so much so…” or “it was her husband and they were married so…”. Get real. This is just another way to blame the victim under the disguise of being helpful.
The panties certainly seem like bullshit to me, but I’m not going to presume to make that choice for any woman.
>>If you don’t think the courts would then start using these things as excuses to acquit rapists, then you are naive. They already say “well she drank so much so…” or “it was her husband and they were married so…”. Get real. This is just another way to blame the victim under the disguise of being helpful.
You make it sound as if the courts have an agenda to facilitate rape, and as if no one was ever convicted of raping a woman who had been drinking. You also seem to be saying that the manufacturers of the bullshit panties have a secret agenda to facilitate rape.
I sort of doubt that, but maybe I AM being naive. Regardless, the bullshit panties aren’t the issue. In the end, I really doubt that they’re going to do anyone much good, or much harm. You said it yourself.
>>Instead you should be teaching those that rape what constitutes rape.
Amen.
Great breakdown of the issues. Thank you.
The most compelling argument is that the wearer may open herself up to even greater violence when an attacker discovers there’s a barrier in the way. A logical next step would be for the attacker to say, “Unlock those or I’ll kill you.”
Obviously there are issues. Obviously the victim is not responsible. Obviously all rapes are not going to avoided, and assault is still perfectly possible. These things are true, but it’s also true that, to an extent, shaming this idea shames the women who want protection, because let’s be honest, there are times it’d be nice. Should women have to seek it out? No. Should women be responsible for thinking and planning ahead? No. There is nothing a woman should have to do to avoid being raped, but it happens and I don’t think it’s wrong for a company to try to provide women with some sense of security. Honestly, I think comparing it to a chastity belt is a bit much; the women wearing it aren’t being restricted from having sex when they want to. No one’s monitoring it, or forcibly keeping it on them. And if we’re going to get mad about this, why shouldn’t we get mad that other women like to take self defense classes? This is obviously not the answer to rape culture, and I do think careful marketing is necessary to mitigate slut shaming, but at the same time, I don’t think the company has delusions that they’re stopping rape, and I do think that for those girls that are randomly attacked and don’t, for instance, have to go through an unwanted abortion because they were impregnated by a rapist it’s invaluable. It’s not the answer, but for women who want it, I think that it has real value.
I love that there are so many people here who agree with this post. Unfortunately, there are a lot of comments that seem confused what she means by a woman not being able to do anything about her rape. I hope my comment can clear this up.
Her point was that rape happens to women who are sober, fully-dressed, strong, and capable. That a woman can take every precaution (self-defense classes, not drinking, not going anywhere alone) and still get raped. Her point was that no matter what the woman does or doesn’t do, it is always the responsibility of the rapist not to rape, and never on what the woman should or shouldn’t have done. Absolutely take self-defense classes, carry pepper spray, or w/e you feel will make you more prepared or safer, just don’t attribute your or another person’s rape as the victim not doing enough. Our rape culture tells us all the things women need to do and if they don’t make those requirements, they are also partially at fault for their own rape. That is the issue and that was the point.
Richard November 6, 2013 at 7:09 pm #
Thank you, Das ❤ I have found that most people on blogs just want to be negative and rant for the sake of ranting, without keeping in context of the subject. It's refreshing to see someone with common sense.
PS I am a man (Apparently that makes me an automatic bad-guy to most people on here.) that was raped when I was a boy by a woman and again as a young man by a man. Both genders assaulted me. Now that that's out of the way… I wish I had been wearing these during those times, even if I had been beaten worse because of it. So I say Thank you to the inventor of these for trying to help in the way that he/she could.
Reply
bellejarblog November 7, 2013 at 1:47 am #
I find it interesting that you are thanking the maker of this product, even though they are playing into the old myth that females are the rape victims and males are the rapists. I would have more respect for them if they acknowledged that male victims are a reality and may need protection too.
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Have you ever tried to produce and market an item? It's a lot of work. This person was obviously trying to get them on the market as soon as possible because they were trying to make a difference as soon as possible. Not after they had a complete line of garments so they could make more money. Nobody has said they won't be making them for men in the future. Women are in fact raped more than men, so it makes sense that they produce such a garment for women first. So for their efforts of trying to help and the fact that a few less women will be violated in the worst possible way, I am thankful.
Like I said before. Most people on blogs just want to be negative and rant for the sake of ranting. That is all you are doing. You took the product and campaign for the product and twisted it into something else entirely. Something negative. Most people on here, I'm certain, didn't even read the campaign ads, watch the video, or do any research on it. They just read your statement and jumped on the bandwagon.
Almost everything you addressed in your initial statement is true. It has no place here though. The only follow-up should be a thank you for someone trying to find a way to keep some people a little safer by wearing their product. If they chose to. If they don't like it, then they don't have to wear it. Period. So thank you Ruth and Yuval, for trying to find a way to make people a little safer.
As for the rest of you. How about if you spend some of your energy on actively supporting an organization that is trying to stop rapes and domestic violence, instead of blogging among a group of bloggers that feel the same way. That does little to no good at all. An organization like Take Back The Night takes it to the public so everyone hears it. So next time you want to vent, rightfully so, do it amongst an organized, educated group that will make a difference more effectively.
Brilliantly put! Common sense and logic prevail… wish more people could see this point of view. I’m sure the ladies who invented this device have the best intentions but we need a paradigm shift in the way we view this issue.
If a woman were to carry pepper spray or learn self-defence, would you say the same thing?
The fact is that yes, rape is terrible, but no, I’m afraid just telling rapists to stop isn’t going to work. There will always be bad people in the world doing bad things to other people. That’s a fact of life that we all need to accept. Taking measures to stop those people from doing what they want to do to you is not putting the blame on the victim. It’s just a ridiculous line of argument that needs to stop.
It’s posts like these that make women seem stupid. This post makes NO sense! (coming from a woman)
Reblogged this on literarybex and commented:
Yes. Thank you.
This is dumb. A rapist forces you to have sex right? What is to stop him from forcing you to use your key to open your pants? Which will be somewhere easily accessible unless these outfits come with catheters.
I can see why people are upset by this, because it does put more of the onus of safety on the victim/survivor rather than the attacker. But at the same time, this campaign is only waxing political because we politicize it. I firmly believe that these designers are not making their product for people like the ones talking about it. Rather, I think their target consumer is someone more like me: a person who desperately wants to buy this product. I am a multi-count survivor of rape, assault and harassment, and I don’t feel that this woman is blaming me for that so much as offering me the underwear I always wanted to be wearing those nights, or any night I felt scared and defenseless walking down the street. Personally, I know a couple of people who have discussed with me how empowered they’d feel when wearing this underwear. Rhetoric floating around about how victim-blaming is terrible is completely valid, but that’s not going to stop anyone from hurting you, be it stranger, friend, boy/girlfriend, relation, or anyone else. The concept of taking focus off the perpetrators of rape and assault is sickening, but wearing protection that isn’t a weapon and can’t get you arrested can still feel empowering (concealed carry laws and all that). I wouldn’t dismiss or ridicule this so fast, considering that my friends and I have been dreaming of this underwear for years, and we can’t possibly be the only ones…
Do they also market Anti-Rape underwear to men?
In fact, they do not. Which is too bad, because men can be victims of rape, too.
Both sides have very valid points. While I agree with the logic that women should feel safe and these garments will give a sense of empowerment and security, such as a bullet proof vest to a bullet, it pains me to agree with this guy in the sense that these garments will not protect women like a bulletproof vest protects a cop. A cop puts on the vest, and he/she knows that their chest and middrift are 100% protected, its been proven, can can confidently rely on the vest and therefore take more risk. These garments aren’t a sure thing, I worry that women that wear these garments will have a false sense of empowerment and confidence and therefore be a little less careful. Just think “I shouldn’t walk home alone but I have my garment on so I’ll be fine!”. These kinds of garments encourage dangerous acts, most of which can be prevented. Cops wouldn’t go into most dangerous situations unprepared but will take more risk once they are wearing that vest. A woman may put herself into a situation wearing the garments thay she otherwise wouldn’t if she didn’t have them on.
And like this article states, if these kinds of items go into syndication, I fear they will be relied on and can be used against the woman. Rapists that victimize a friend or family member could easily get the woman into a position where she feels she A) Doesn’t need to put the garment on, or B) Feels she can safely remove the item, therefore could later argue “She took them off and consented!”. As sad as it is, that could be the decider for a jury.
On a final note, to those who were given the sad impression that no one ever blames the victim, you’re sadly loving in a world that’s been lying to you. Most sexual assault victims will not take it to authorities because of the discouragement from family and friends. The friends lacking empathy and the family not wanting to surcome to embarrassment. It happened to someone very close to me in fact.
A vest will stop a bullet, pepper spray will help a fearful woman, but these clothes won’t guarantee safety and women shouldn’t be fed the false idea that they will.
1 the vest only protects the chest and midriff I know several cops that still pray before entering a dangerous situation because they can still get shot in the head or appendages with vital arteries and bleed out.
2 cops OFTEN run into a dangerous situation before putting their vest on.
3 do we blame the home owners because they forgot to arm their alarm system? No we blame the robber! Just like if the case does go to court because the girl didn’t wear her special panties it still won’t be her fault they were in the washer.
4 I feel really bad for all the women who are afraid to come forward because her friend and family are such dbags they tell her not to THEY are the problem in her life.
5 you ended your comment with ‘pepper spray will help a fearful woman’ pepper spray can help but does it 100% stop women from getting attacked no it doesn’t nothing will until every single rapists is in jail and since that won’t happen why is everyone against the idea of something that could help prevent an attack.
While I agree the rape is ALWAYS the rapist’s fault, I think that there are some other empowering solutions for women (besides wearing a modern day chastity belt)! I’m supporting a different indie-gogo campaign that’s trying to raise money to educate women and teach them self-defense moves that will give them the confidence, knowledge and hand-on skills to fight back! I know it works because I have personally fought off an attacker. Check out the campaign here: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/go-commando-real-confidence-and-protection
Ultimately the solution is changing our culture so that rape is completely unacceptable, but in the meantime, I would way rather have the tools to put up a fight, rather than hope a pair of panties will protect me at such a horrible and terrifying moment!
I can’t believe any feminists oppose this. Sure, it would be better if there were no rapists and therefore no need for these shorts things. But if women’s options are to wait for a crime-free utopia or protect themselves now, I know what my choice would be. I think some feminists are more concerned with blaming rapists for rape than they are in actually preventing it. But it’s a false choice; almost everyone already agrees that rape is the rapists’ fault. (Well, duh.) It is possible to wear these shorts and believe that rapists are evil at the same time. As for the men who don’t believe that, well, that’s what these shorts are for. Advocating against rape culture is good and necessary, but it won’t eliminate rape completely. That’s because many criminals don’t care what society teaches. That’s why they’re criminals.
As for the assertion that only a rapist can stop his own rape, that’s just stupid nonsense. If a woman kicks a guy in the nuts, then pepper sprays him, then tases him, I think that she stands a pretty good chance of having some say in whether she’s raped or not. This author may not believe it, but things like this do happen. And no, it doesn’t mean the rapist is still not at fault.
That said, I agree that these shorts aren’t foolproof. Still, if they give some women more peace of mind, I don’t see the same harm that this article does.
Using this author’s logic, we shouldn’t lock our doors when we leave our homes, because that would be an admission that if we get robbed it isn’t the robbers’ fault. And unlike the seat belt analogy that the author doesn’t like, a robbery isn’t an “accident” any more than rape is, it’s also a deliberate act by the robber.
I’m really getting tired of everyone going on about how women shouldn’t have to do anything to prevent being raped. We shouldn’t have to do anything to prevent our houses being broken into but we still lock our doors at night. We shouldn’t have to be afraid of being hit by a car for crossing the street but we still look before we walk. The fact is no matter what women do there will ALWAYS be rapists out there. Just like we should always look before crossing the street. This product isn’t saying it’s a fix all and if every one buys this no one will ever be raped again. But the fact is I know there are 2 rapists that live in my town both attacked strangers with a knife while they were alone in public places if these underwear would allow me to feel more comfortable going for my nightly run by myself I would buy them. Yes I do think it should not be on me to make sure I don’t get raped but I carry a knife with me and don’t take the same route twice in a row to avoid being followed. People need to understand that women being smart and making smart choices does not mean that we don’t ALSO need to focus on the bigger issue of not Blaming the victim and getting harsher punishment for rapists.
Very foolish heading. This underwear is likely to be effective against random outdoor rape attempts and also to provide time for the lady to talk her assailant out of the rape if attempted on or after a date.
DO NOT TELL ME that improved locks and alarms do not make it less likely for me to be burgled. That is what you are saying and it is nonsense.
I wish I’d had these pants on when this happened to me: http://wp.me/p4bMUU-5q
Angela Goodnight
The bottom line: do-good self-righteous liberal thinkers are intent on sticking to their academic ivory tower way of thinking, where an unattainable pie-in-the-sky ideal (of somehow stopping rapists from raping) is always more “logical” than taking simple and practical steps to protect oneself. In this sort of warped logic it becomes “wrong” somehow if a victim takes simple and practical steps to defend herself. This type of thinking is the result of the triumph of vacuous slogans over good old simple common sense.
Sure, anti rape wear won’t stop every type of possible sexually motivated attack but to say that this is a good reason not to wear it is like saying that because a bullet proof vest doesn’t provide 100% protection then it’s best not to wear it. This king of logic is the type that belongs in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.
One of the common ways that women get raped today is through the use of Date Rape Drug, exactly what AR Wear is designed to help stop. There are some bars that have resorted to selling drinks in cone shaped glasses that are impossible to “park” on a table, and so must be held in the hand, which provides automatic supervision by the drinker. There has been an uproar about this type of thing too, where “clever” self-righteous nitwits insist that the entire environment of the bar must be changed to prevent the use of the drug, instead of taking simple technical steps to provide a form of practical solution.
The type of people who are against taking practical steps on principle are obviously quite happy to accept a certain percentage of avoidable casualties, as long as their high and mighty Don Quixote type principles are upheld. Why be realistic when the principle is utmost?
1.The only person who has the power to control the outcome of rape is the rapist.
2.The only person who can prevent rape is the rapist.
3.The only person responsible for rape is the rapist
1. What if both has equally much power but another helped the raper?
2. Okay so the victim has a tazer and chooses to not use it cause she did not think it was gonna happen then she is the rapist? cause she had the power to prevent it and choose not to?
3. What if the girl had a kinky feeling or got horny of the idea of being raped and when it was over she was disgusted and angry then she is equally as responsive for not resisting and letting the guy rape her?
Boja u just got comment raped in the face! (sry couldent resist the joke)
“Really, the end game of all rape prevention advice is that women should stay at home, alone, in a locked house, but even that scheme isn’t 100% foolproof. There is no actual way for a woman to prevent being raped.”
Yup, but methinks reducing all contact with men to zero would reduce the risk significantly. I say, we should try it, and wait how long it takes the “nice” men to realize that if they don’t stop rape by stopping the rapists, they aren’t going to have heterosex ever again.